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Ahem. [9.20.08 - 9.15am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I've finished my thesis.

Yay!

Now, I'm not sure what to do next (for the clearance and other stuff, I don't know). Help?:)


------------------------------------

Special mention to Robs and Drew:

You've both been a HUGE help to me. I cannot thank you both enough.




It seemed like rainbows would appear [6.14.08 - 9.07am]
[ mood | hungry for retail therapy ]

Good news is, I finally got my momentum. I've made progress with my never-ending thesis and will be adding to my 25 pages soon.

------------------------------------

Bad news is, I'm confused.

And I'm tired of living according to what's dictated to me. Look at where it got me so far.




Shoutouts [4.25.08 - 7.36pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

She, Miya, Robs: Congratulations! I'll be there tomorrow for awhile, to see you guys graduate. I don't think I'll be finishing it though - it's quite, er, painful to watch for me. You know.:)

Kai: Girl, I'm here. You know exactly where to find me.

Timmy: Hey. How are you? I haven't been on a lot lately, been pretty busy. I hope you're doing well.

Kim: Here's a tip: A lot of my friends who have taken classes at A1 have all been in car accidents in less than a year. You might want to consider that when finding a driving school. And you're not the only one who hasn't gone to the beach yet.

And the rest of the people reading: Hello. I'm sad that my trip to Batangas was canceled, I really wanted to go to the beach. Oh well. Now I'm stuck with Rizal AND thesis. Sadness. Oh well.

Am happy though, despite all the complaining. Don't be deceived.:D

Am very hungry though. AND am dreading this heat, my allergies are unstoppable. Oh well, no day can be perfect.




Lazy lazy [4.1.08 - 12.54pm]
I am so freakin' lazy.

I don't want to write my thesis. AS IN. When did I ever want to write my thesis?

I don't want to go to school. I want to work so I have shopping money because I want to drown my thesis woes in retail therapy.

My thoughts are thesis-related in the sense that I am dreading thesis.

HATE IT. I'm so lazy. Haha.

Don't be like me. If you're about to graduate from high school, make sure you take the course you want. And if you're not that lucky, then make sure you shift to what you want. Because you'll end up being lazy. Like me. We don't want that.;p

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I found myself right in the middle of my godmother's and her husband's fight. It's not my fault I'm there, but somehow they got me involved in their fight.

It's a long story. But my happy summer is starting to turn more stressful than it should be (thanks to thesis)...

Drat. Why do I always, ALWAYS find myself in the middle of fights I'm not even involved in? It's always been the case since... elementary. Drat.

------------------------------------

GAY MODE!

I found this really cute two-piece swimsuit I really love, but it's too pricey. As in P1,800 pricey.

I'll settle for my second choice: one that's P439.

Bathing suits are seriously overpriced. I swear. But I need a new one, as my junk is falling out the old one. Hehe.

------------------------------------

I want my diploma. Huhu.

Am so jealous of you guys graduating.

(Yes, it's my way of saying CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE GRADUATING!:D)



HAHAHA! [3.19.08 - 12.59am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I think my blood pressure just shot up past normal. Earlier it was 60/40 (w/c is bad but hey, I've been up for two days straight!), but when I saw this, I couldn't help but laugh because it was sooooo cheesy, and there's a twist.

The Unexpected

But there's an embarrassing mistake there. Hehe.

Back to stress mode.




HAHAHA! [3.19.08 - 12.59am]
I think my blood pressure just shot up past normal. Earlier it was 60/40 (w/c is bad but hey, I've been up for two days straight!), but when I saw this, I couldn't help but laugh because it was sooooo cheesy, and there's a twist.

The Unexpected

But there's an embarrassing mistake there. Hehe.



Friends, Schoolmates, Countrymen, [3.10.08 - 8.27pm]
I NEED YOUR HELP!

Please please answer this. It's for our group report in PP17. I'd really, REALLY appreciate it.

AAAND! I would appreciate it more if you know someone who's willing to be interviewed who's currently a JJ or was a former JJ. Please let me know within the week because this is due on the 19th.

Thank you thank you thank you so much!:D

Love, Me.

From: Angge

para ito sa isang GE subject, yes yes.... hihingi sana ako ng kaunti mong effort sa pagttype para masagutan ang mga sumusunod na tanong...

1. Paano mo bibigyan ng kahulugan ang mga 'Jumping Jologs' o JJ. sa pamamagitan ng kanilang:

A. Pananamit

B. Pagkilos

C. Tipo ng mga Kanta

D. (Pananalita)

2. ano ang pananaw mo sa mga pangkatang mga 'JJ' na umaattend sa mga concerts. MAGREKLAMO o IPAGBUNYI SILA?

3. Ano ang sinasabi sa tingin mo ng uri ng kanilang kultura sa pagpapakahulugan (pagdedefine) sa mga kabataan ngayon?



Um. [1.23.08 - 4.30pm]
Weird day.

Was late for PE, but our group ended up repeating the whole routine after we did it once.

Answered four crossword puzzles (one in English and three in Filipino) and one word search.

Got the text message that Heath Ledger's dead.

Got the confirmation that Heath Ledger's dead.

Went to CWTS class, only to find out I can't go to Malacañang on Feb. 20 because I have a class.

Imagined we'd be teaching the DILG people about anti-corruption for CWTS, then thought about turning it into a showbiz talk show...

...after which we gossiped about Heath Ledger's death again.

Talked about stalkers and frat boys.

Ate salad.

Typed.

Still typing.

Weird day.



Bad Teeth, And Other Pains [1.16.08 - 5.54pm]
So I did not attend any of my classes today. Why, you ask?

Because I was late for my first class.

It annoys me when I'm late. I only learned how to be late when I entered college (not that I'm blaming UP, baka mamaya may mag-react at sabihing "E di umalis ka kung may reklamo ka!") and despite the fact that sometimes it's a good way to not be so anal and to loosen up a bit, it still annoys me when I'm late.

So I decided not to go to class. Which was perfect timing because a. my mom was looking for someone to go with her and b. I have a major, MAJOR toothache right now.

------------------------------------

Which reminds me.

OUCH!

Mytoothhurtssobad. Argh.

AND. Apparently on my last entry I also mentioned having a toothache. I haven't had another toothache since... until now. Ouchie.
------------------------------------

And because I have a toothache, you have to understand why I'm mean.

So I went to the bookstores today to find a copy of Henry IV, and there was this saleslady from one of the bookstores my mom and I visited was like, "Henry IV by William Sheksper? Ma'am wala na po kaming Sheksper." (Of course, that was how she pronounced his name)

Ahh. It's blasphemy, I swear.

------------------------------------

I am sad.

1. NO THESIS AT ALL. Whenever people ask me "How's your thesis?" I feel this chill run up and down my spine, and my whole digestive system feels as if I were undergoing another endoscopy without anesthesia. Yeouch.

2. I am a worrywart. But trust me, I have legitimate reasons to worry this time. I can't discuss them though.

3. We still haven't cut our landline yet, which means my net connection is still stuck at 52 kbps. Crappy internet. And there's so much I could've watched on the net already :(

4. I am missing some people. Okay, one basically. My confidante, mostly because I need to spill and I'm selfish and I'm sure I missed out on stuff in his life so I'm gonna make him spill as well. And I swear I'll call him as soon as I have enough funds for a couple of hours' overseas call. And if I don't call... Then that means I'm waiting for him to come home. But can I really hold out until March?

5. My MMS isn't working today. I don't know why. Must be related to the problems Globe had yesterday (when there was no signal from 4pm to 3am). But it's sad, it's my way of saying hello to people I haven't seen in forever.

6. Need I mention it? I have a kickass toothache.

7. History seems to be repeating itself. At least, the part of history that I don't want repeated. And this time, I swear I'm freaking out.

8. I haven't gotten the christmas pics yet. Sadness.



Crazy stuff [10.21.07 - 12.23pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

J.K. Rowling confirms that Dumbledore is gay.

Sheesh. What's next?

------------------------------------

Two of my three cousins who came here yesterday already went home.

I'm sad again.




Eeeep. [10.11.07 - 10.55am]
[ mood | drained ]

I keep on scrapping everything I've done for my thesis.

Nothing seems to make sense.

And I'm meeting Ma'am Ancheta today. Grr. What do I pass?

------------------------------------

I want to bang my head hard on the wall.

Or punch something. I seriously need a punching bag and boxing gloves. I miss the ones at Espie's place.

Or hit something. The sticks I used for arnis are alive and well. Just give me a tire, hang it someplace and I'll vent out all my frustrations on it.

My mom's gonna make a punching bag. She knows I'm frustrated. She's also mad that my dad gave his punching bag away.

------------------------------------

I hate the words THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK.

They reduce me to dust. I swear.

Or a no-brain creature. Up to you to imagine what creature I am right now.




Exhausting day. Interesting Night. [10.9.07 - 11.48am]
[ mood | tired ]

THE RETURN OF THE STALKER!

As if yesterday's exhaustion wasn't enough last night, my stalker decided to come back to life last night... And claim he wasn't a stalker, and he was trying to be friends, and that saying where a stranger is from (in this case, I am the stranger) IS NOT CREEPY!

Argh. Imagine. And I have the shortest temper in the world when it comes to things this stupid.

AND! As if that wasn't enough, this guy almost made me want to jump from the top floor of this building. He kept on using God's name, and so I told him "Don't use God's name to cover up your guilt for stalking. That's blasphemy." The stupid guy attempts to correct me by saying that it's BLASTPHEMY. ARGH!

Oh and he seems to think one has to be rich to have him tracked down through his number. Uh, NO YOU DON'T. AND the funny thing is, he even thought I could afford a hired assassin to put him down once I have him tracked down, which is just STUPID. I'm trying to stop a guy from stalking me, not getting someone killed. And already he has these assumptions.

What an active imagination he has. But oh, how stupid he is.

On the brighter side of things, because I finally got mad at someone long enough to blow off some steam from my exhaustion, I have a bit of energy for typing today. That's a good thing for me.

Interesting night.

Back to paper mode! I have a class later.




Naiyak naman ako. [10.8.07 - 7.12am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I'm sorry that that particular professor feels that we (Tih and I) took his/her classes for granted. I can't speak for Tih, but I know I did in the sense that I don't have great organizational skills (and therefore, I don't know how to schedule my tasks pretty well - hell, I don't schedule at all). But to take it for granted on purpose is not something I would want to do, because I enjoy class. Of all the classes I've had in my life it's the second one that made me really appreciate Philippine Lit, so why would I want to take that for granted?

And again, I can only speak for myself when I say that I really am sorry for my absences. It's just that at this point, I don't believe feeling sorry will help me finish what I have to finish when all this time, I haven't been feeling good about myself at all.

I am mechanical-sounding. ALL the time. And so if I don't sound sorry, that's not exactly my problem now.

I just really strongly believe that feeling sorry won't help me in any way.

And on my count, yes, you could easily give me a 5.0 for my absences. But I didn't have as many absences as it sounded in the email. I count my absences, I only have seven. And yes, that still is past six, but I reported, I submitted the impromptu papers in class, and I know the requirements, I just don't know WHEN to pass them. That's all I need to know. When.

I'm sorry if I'm crying again. I'm a crybaby. I think this past week that I've been cramming I cried so many times because I'm so exhausted already. But now I feel sorry because of him / her. And now I feel sorry for myself too, which isn't really gonna help me finish my thesis by tonight or by tomorrow morning at the latest.

I'm not mad though. I'm just... Sorry as I can get. And it doesn't feel good.




Shoot me now. [10.2.07 - 12.33am]
I don't want to do this anymore.

This graduating year crap... I swear, it's for my future, considering I'm from a third world country that believes education is the key to success, but I'm just so tired of the pressure it puts on me that I'm already rebelling against it.

I don't want to keep on doing this shit. Neither do I want to rebel against something.

But it's just so fucking overrated.

I'm sorry. I just really, REALLY need to get that out of my system. I'm at a point in my life where I just don't see the point of being somewhere you don't want to be - again. AND my highly hostile, highly rebellious side is, once again, coming out. Kinda like right before I graduated from high school (obviously I graduated anyway, but not without a share of problems and rebellion).

I can't live without pressure, but when it's there, I can't live with it as well. Fuck it.

I'm a screwed-up person. Deal with it.

------------------------------------

In all honesty, I want to go on a month-long getaway. Yes, just a month long, because I am the type who, while desiring proper rest, feels guilty when I'm not doing something I feel is productive. But yes, I want to go on a month-long getaway to sleep.

That's all I want to do right now, that's why I'm so cranky. I want to sleep.



Ahh, yes. [9.24.07 - 5.42am]
[ mood | food is on my mind baby ;p ]

Nothing like good food to not make you panic while rushing a paper.

I was so busy studying this weekend for the exam that I wasn't able to take last Friday because I was sick that I overslept today instead of waking up at three am. So yes, I am rushing my detailed lp.

I'd be panicking right now if it weren't for my mom's tasty tasty homemade sardines. Yummm.

My stomach is very, very lucky.;p




Syllabus [9.17.07 - 6.15am]
[ mood | tired ]

Making one is hard. I swear.

I'm tempted to put just everything I want to read, and I can't do that because of the freakin' course description. So yes, I have to be impartial.

------------------------------------

In lieu w/ that, I got an amazing message from my professor today:

"Bom dia! Não há aula hoje."
(Good morning! There will be no class today.)

Thank you for more time to put this list together. I am so not cut out for the English department, I think that's very obvious now.




Anti-Thesis Mode. [9.11.07 - 9.03pm]
And I mean anti-Thesis, as in "I don't want to work on my thesis anymore" mode. Hmm.

Fuck.

Best's dad's CD collection doesn't help either. Soundtripping to Air Supply last night was fun, but I didn't accomplish ANYTHING acads-wise because of that. Darn it.

But Air Supply is sooo good... Come on, who never listened to "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" (which, sadly, is always murdered in karaoke), "All Out Of Love", "The One That You Love", "Every Woman In The World", "Total Eclipse Of The Heart", and other songs that I wouldn't even bother to enumerate anymore because they're freakin' Air Supply?

Ahh. LSS. I hate what it does to me.

------------------------------------

I lost what little poetry I have in me.

So let's count the talents I haven't utilized since entering UP in 2004:

1. SINGING (and I sooo miss singing)
2. Sketching
3. Writing (it seems I've become an expert at writing rants, though ;p)
4. Acting
5. Cooking
6. Basketball (although I was pretty average here when I quit, I was a fast learner)
7. MATH!!!

Let's count the "talents" I've utilized since entering UP:

*sound of crickets*

Okay, let's consider speaking English one (except that, considering what my course is, it is mandatory. Duh). But noooo... That's not considered. It's not a friggin' talent.

I'm stuck somewhere. In a rut, most likely.



Good Night [9.7.07 - 10.16pm]
Someday I'll look back and realize this has been an important turning point in my life.

------------------------------------

I can get to relax a bit at last!

Good night LJ world. I'm off to sleep.



Sunrise, Sunset [9.7.07 - 6.33am]
[ mood | crazy ]

I have the tendency to notice the smallest, most trivial things instead of seeing the big picture.

Everytime I'm on my way home from UP I, like so many students, get the privilege of seeing a beautiful sunset when I'm exiting UP through the University Ave, and then Philcoa. Yesterday the sunset was so beautiful. The colors were colors I've been trying to paint for such a long time but just can't get, because nothing I did seemed to be good enough for me. It's as if I want to photograph the scene instead, but then...

There they were, in the way of my beautiful sunset. Electrical wires and heaps of junk.

So I tried to look behind, at the rest of Commonwealth Ave. I didn't see beyond five cars ahead, because the smoke got too thick to see.

I should have paid more attention to the fact that I couldn't see the road anymore because the smoke from the vehicles was so thick. But noooo... I turned back to the sunset, and I was so upset that a pile of junk was in the way of my view.

Now that I think about it, what I saw and didn't pay attention to (er, the smoke) deserves more attention than the junk I've complained about yesterday. It's very disturbing, the pollution.

------------------------------------

Then again, you can look at it in a positive light:

That scenario only proves that there is beauty in chaos. I mean, come on, no matter how polluted our surroundings are now, at the end of the day we still have such beautiful sunsets.

Ohmygahd. I am disturbing.;p

------------------------------------

Now that I think about it, reading the Revised Penal Code isn't so weird for me after all...

I'm sadistic. *sinister chuckle* ;p




I think I'm coming down with something. [9.5.07 - 9.37am]
[ mood | sick but relieved! ]

I've had a bad cold for days, and my whole body hurts, and now my throat hurts everytime I swallow.

I am coming down with something. But I have to attend class. Sadness.

------------------------------------

AHH! The book that I lost is back in the lib!

Now I have some major explaining to do, seeing as I was not the one who returned it. But *PHEW*! I guess I won't have to pay for it then.

But I don't know how to explain. I mean, do I actually go and tell them that hey, I've been exhausted for a couple of days now and so I didn't know that I dropped the book somewhere in a jeepney or in the campus?

Shit me. Buahaha.

But am I ever so RELIEVED! It's the only book with a criticism on one of my texts, and I've been finding it hard to find materials for my review of lit (w/c is why I wasn't able to pass it last Friday). And this Friday we have the progress report, and my progress? Er... I've been reading, but I haven't been writing because I can't find anything substantial enough to write about and criticize in my thesis. Ampft.

But am I relieved! Then again, I can't trust OPAC entirely. I'll hit the shelves and check if it's there before explaining myself.




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